The Schmemmys- Peter Tolan was Right

Wow, what an underwhelming broadcast. The five hosts idea was a cluster fuck. Yes, cute in theory to have the first ever nominees from the reality show host category tag-team hosting duties, but horrible in execution. Heidi Klum has never seemed so E.S.L. And BOY did Ryan Seacrest come across as bitter. He is not a fan of sharing the spotlight, even though there is plenty of spotlight left to go around when it shines on him (Note, whenever Alanna and I see Seacrest, we say in a high pitched voice, "I'm the LITTLEST man in the world." When he has facial growth, we amend the statement, adding, "And I have the LITTLEST beard in the world." Works on two levels.) ABC should have instead selected Jimmy Kimmel to host the show. When he appeared to present the award to one member of the host cluster fuck, Jimmy did look like he's been living life hard since his breakup with Sarah Silverman (check out those puffy eyes and that swollen face), but I still think he would have had it in him.

Biggest congratulations of the night goes to the ever wonderful Paul Giamatti . He won for his portrayal of historically significant one-minute man John Adams. You may or may not remember the fact that Paul Giamatti is my everything. I have saved his acceptance speech in order to digitally insert my name wherever possible. I was happy to see his wife looking very average. He slipped up enough to thank Laura Linney instead of his real wife, so it's not totally out of the realm of possibility that he might slip up and "thank" me. Our day will come, Paul.

You youngins can cry all you want about award shows doling them out to the oldies based on their reputation alone, but if not for Don Rickles, last night's show would have bee unwatchable. And what makes The Amazing Race so amazing that it has won best reality competition show for each of the six years the category has been in existence. I mean, it's a good show, but enlighten me. Thrilling to see the 30 Rock sweep and the BIG win for Alec Baldwin. His cool as a cucumber speech was refreshing on a night of otherwise gratuitous industry masturbation. Although, if I had a emoticon right now it would first be flushed with Giamatti lust, and then be embarrassed for never having seen Mad Men, which won on the drama side. Who wants to cuddle up in bed one weekend and watch 'em all?...Paul?

Outstanding drama series: Mad Men
Outstanding comedy series: 30 Rock
Outstanding host for a reality or reality-competition program: Jeff Probst for Survivor
Outstanding lead actress in a comedy series: Tina Fey for 30 Rock
Outstanding lead actor in a drama series: Bryan Cranston for Breaking Bad
Outstanding lead actress in a drama series: Glenn Close for Damages
Outstanding lead actor in a comedy series: Alec Baldwin for 30 Rock
Outstanding lead actor in a mini-series or movie: Paul Giamatti for John Adams
Outstanding mini-series: John Adams
Outstanding reality competition program: The Amazing Race
Outstanding supporting actress in a mini-series or movie: Eileen Atkins for Cranford
Outstanding supporting actor in a mini-series or movie: Tom Wilkinson for John Adams
Outstanding made for television movie: Recount
Outstanding variety, music or comedy series: The Daily Show
Outstanding lead actress in a mini-series or movie: Laura Linney for John Adams
Outstanding supporting actress in a drama series: Dianne Wiest for In Treatment
Outstanding supporting actor in a drama series: Zeljko Ivanek for Damages
Outstanding supporting actress in a comedy series: Jean Smart for Samantha Who?
Outstanding supporting actor in a comedy series: Jeremy Piven for Entourage