Showing posts with label Gossip Girl. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gossip Girl. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

I'll Never Tell...

Dear Gossip Girl Diary,

Oh boy, what an exciting night! I love the feeling I get in the pit of my stomach as I leave my Hamptons manse for a new year of private school shenanigans, so last night's episode was TOTALLY RELEVANT TO MY LIFE! Here are some of my innermost thoughts on the show. Don't tell anyone, Gossip Girl Diary!

-Really, Nate's mom? You just lived your life in absurd, Hamptons extravagance like nothing was happening, and then mentioned in passing to your son that the federal government is doing an inventory on all your earthly possessions, while you cut lilies that your underpaid gardener put blood, sweat and tears into making look so lovely? Really? Jeez, sometimes I think there are no writers and they just make the stuff up as they go along.

-Oh wait, why don't you just sell those two living mastodons you have following you around as pets to some eccentric millionaire, Nate's mom. That should bring in the big bucks.


-Hmm. I am about to get on a coach bus for a 2 hour ride, but need a little snack. Let me weigh my options...a nutri grain bar? Nah, too convenient. Maybe a handful of delicious and nutritious organic trail mix. Nah, still way too practical. OH I know. How about a tray of gourmet, over sized chocolate covered strawberries. Nice. I definitely made the right choice.


-I really felt Nate's pain in his Ikiru inspired scenes. He just wanted someone to talk to...

-Vivian: What's squash?
Jeanette: It's like tennis, but both players are on the same side of the net, and instead of a net there is a wall.
Vivian: Oh, so it's stupid tennis.
Jeanette: Yes, they should definitely re-market it as such.

On a less disjointed note, Gossip Girl Diary, I am really enjoying the more aggressive Beatrice and Benedict sparring going on with Blair and Chuck. What I once deemed as over-the-top, shoddy acting is now coming across as campy brilliance. Keep it up, Leighton and Ed!

XOXO,
Jeanette






Wednesday, September 03, 2008

9021...Oh

The much anticipated (yet not anticipated enough to release to critics) premiere of the new 90210 happened last night. I learned the important lesson that if I am going to watch 16 year olds on TV, I prefer them to be having sex. Or doing drugs. Or both. Simultaneously, if possible. While the kids of the hills may boast better acting skills--yay for Degrassi alum Shenae Grimes, who was only nauseating because of her dramatic weight loss--the 10021 and the Gossip Girl gang beats 90210 when it comes to overall entertainment (those Chuck Bass-tards!).

And now some excerpts from my 90210 journal:

-Really? The only organic way to introduce a black character to Beverly Hills is to have him be adopted by a white family? Really? And if there is any sort of implication of sexual chemistry between Annie and Dixon, I quit television. (Just kidding, TV. I could never quit you.)

-Why do the opening credits feel like Darren Aronofsky directed them? I think I just had a seizure.

-Okay my favorite part so far, and it's not even part of the show: watching Jessica Walter/Lucille Bluth do one of those awkward, at the premiere party interludes. She must be fun at parties. The crazy alchoholic type casting has to come from somewhere.

-Here's my ULTIMATE pet peeve of portrayals of classrooms on television, and let me know if you agree. Teacher says, "Let's start with last night's reading..." Thirty seconds later, bell rings signifying the end of class. IF ONLY, TV world, IF ONLY.