"Never were words so true." Thoughts on Gilmore Girls and memories from Brian Williams

When I thought of the title for this entry, I was sure that Voltaire, FDR or some other ‘quotent quotable’ amongst the pages of Bartlett’s familiar quotations said the above line. Turns out it is a lyric in the song Home, from Disney’s Beauty and the Beast, now in its thirteenth smash year on Broadway, and featuring Donnie Osmond through December 24th. I dare you to judge me. Go ahead. Do it.

Anyhooters, perusing various publications today, I felt as if television related writers were SPEAKING DIRECTLY TO ME. Like they were IN MY HEAD. Like they KNEW ME BETTER THAN ANY OTHER PERSON. Like they were MATT PARKMAN AND I WAS SYLAR. Here’s what I’m talking about.

In her astute article on Gilmore Girls, The NY Times’s Virginia Heffernan offers the best analysis I have heard all season, except for mine. When the WB, Amy Sherman-Palladino and Dan Palladino could not come to contractual terms, the married couple/show helmers jumped ship. With Amy on board, the show’s wit and banter was as sharp as an anonymous commentor’s bite. Or as Heffernan puts it, we saw Lorelai and Rory as they should be:

“In their purest incarnations, Lorelai and Rory shared the witty woman’s challenge: to architect a wall of words so high and so thick that no silence, no stares, no intimations of mortality or even love could penetrate it.”

Now it looks as if Lorelai and Chris are going to get caught up in the romance of Paris. The closest I came to romance in Paris was hooking up with some guy named Jeremiah in a room featuring six bunk beds at the Hotel Calaincourt, whilst reeking of Guinness. And Lorelai and myself are cut from the same cloth. Okay, her cloth is skinnier and better dressed, but nonetheless it is the same. Therefore, I can tell you that a decline into the depths of canoodling and conversation hearts over the course of one summer hiatus is NOT POSSIBLE. Here’s hoping that the coarseness of Luke’s stubble and over starched flannels will soon whip Lorelai back into shape.

Also, in the latest edition of Newsweek, NBC News’ favorite funny man* gives a heartwarming look at his youth’s transition to Technicolor. He shares, “I was, more than any kid I knew, obsessed and fascinated at what television had to offer, and the places it could take me.” The same is true for me, possibly times three. So for all those times my mother told me to switch off the M*A*S*H repeats in favor of some outdoor recreation, I say to her, LOOK AT ME NOW!

*Chris Hansen came in second, specifically for his fine work in blooper reels featuring pedophiles caught with their pants down.