Sunday, November 12, 2006

MeMe, YouYou, PeePee, PooPoo

J.J. of As Little As Possible tagged us Tubers for this fun little meme. Since there's nothing I love writing about more than myself - ahem, I mean entertainment - I thought I'd give it a go.

1. Popcorn or candy? Popcorn is such a cocktease. It smells so excellent, and then when you eat it, it's too dry and gets stuck in your throat, or so buttery and greasy that just looking at it makes you break out. So candy. Junior Mints if possible.

2. Name a movie you've been meaning to see forever. Dr. Strangelove

3. You are given the power to recall one Oscar: Who loses theirs and to whom? My Oscar memory isn't that spectacular; instead of recalling what Meryl won for and when, my brain is filled with amusing quotes from the fifth season of Angel. Example:

Spike busts into Angel's office
Angel: We're having a meeting.
Spike: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't care.

Which is to say, Crash was totally undeserving. Best Picture should have gone to Buttsex Mountain.

4. Steal one costume from a movie for your wardrobe. Which will it be? Either The Bride's yellow jumpsuit from Kill Bill or Edward Scissorhands' S&M get-up. Maybe a combo of both.

5. Your favorite film franchise is... I have a soft spot for the Christopher Reeve Superman movies, except for the awful, awful fourth one. World peace does not an action movie make.

6. Invite five movie people over for dinner. Who are they? Why'd you invite them? What do you feed them? I'd like to host Klaus Kinski, Christopher Walken, Anne Heche, Stephen Seagal, and Shirley MacLaine to see who comes up with the best plot to take over the world. I'd feed them canned cranberry sauce.

7. What is the appropriate punishment for people who answer cell phones in the movie theater? They should have to listen to Nicole Kidman sing "Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend" for eons and eons. That would be torture for me, anyway.

8. Choose a female bodyguard: Ripley from Aliens. Mystique from X-Men. Sarah Connor from Terminator 2. The Bride from Kill Bill. Mace from Strange Days. None of the above. I choose Sybil from the TV movie of the same name.

9. What's the scariest thing you've ever seen in a movie? Of late, it's the fat Armenian dude's testicles in Sacha Baron Cohen's face.

10. Your favorite genre (excluding comedy and drama) is? I must grudgingly admit an affinity for sci-fi. The Fountain trailer, for instance, excites me to no end. Oh, Wolverine.

11. You are given the power to greenlight movies at a major studio for one year. How do you wield this power? By hiring underrated actresses and giving them complex, meaty roles. It's shameful how few interesting parts exist for women, and the ones that do all go to the Aussie Trifecta: Kidman, Watts, Blanchett.

12. Bonnie or Clyde? Bonnie. Clyde's so vain, he probably thinks this blog is about him.

13. Who are you tagging to answer this survey? Lauren of Oodleday, Eric of Confessions, Chris of Exit Stage Left.

1 comment:

Viv said...

I sincerely hope that this is simply a poorly rendered satirical piece, you popcorn defamer. POPCORN 4-EVAAAAAAAA