Monday, October 02, 2006

Weekend Round Up, Degrassi, SN-SMELL, Saved by the Smell, Discovery Smell-las (which one doesn’t really work…)

The new season of Degrassi: the Next Generation started Friday night. Let me say it is a good thing that our neighbors to the north are liberal, because when I get picked up for seducing a minor (AKA, Daniel "biceps" Clark), I want to be tried in a bleeding heart court of love. As Dr. Gregory House said, “You can’t stop our love!”

Pictures of Daniel on the Internet are scarse, but that’s probably for the better. I don’t want to end up being interviewed by Dateline’s Chris Hansen with my pants off.

Anyway, I give the premiere four out of five chunks of Gouda, because it was cheese-tastic!

I want nothing more than to love Saturday Night Live. Ever since I was a four-year-old, flat-boobed tuber, watching Nick at Nite, asking my mother what consumption of mass quantities meant, the humor has reached out to me like no actual friends or emotional bonds could.

By the end of the 31st, 2005-2006 season, though, some would argue that it was as if Matt Foley, Motivational Speaker, himself had jumped on top of the show, leaving a pile of kindling (and the remains of Chris Parnell, Horatio Sanz, and Finesse Mitchell’s careers) to be swept up by Jane, the Studio 8H cleaning lady.

I have spent too many early Sunday mornings drunkenly quoting Amy Poehler’s Caitlin to be completely down on season 31, or the show in general. But when you have a weekend update team that is supposed to have more chemistry than Fred and Ginger, and they only get mild chuckles, Lorne Michael’s pulse has probably increased from ‘Canadian’ to ‘concerned.’ I’m not giving up yet, and stay tuned here as I will let you know how the new, streamlined cast is doing…

I’m certainly not breaking the news to blog land that Dustin Diamond, aka Screech of Saved by the Bell fame has had a sex tape leaked. But I am breaking social mores when I out myself and fellow boob tuber Alanna for following his lead. We spent our entire Saturday night giving each other fake dirty sanchezes from unknowing providers of…special moustache paint. Too much?

DVR is waiting for me to watch the first installment of the Discovery Channel’s new series Discovery Atlas. The Discovery Channel and I have had a tight relationship ever since they showed me my first naked boobies that weren’t my mom’s. Now they continue to fascinate me with this installment that will spend two hours simply profiling a different country this week. If you saw it, let me know what you thought of last night’s premiere on China (read: let me know which dog recipe looked best). Italy is featured next Sunday at 9 PM!


Alanna said...

Daniel "Biceps" Clark is on the right...

Jeanette said...

Oh thank you for capturing him in all his long haired glory. I love being able to grab the reigns on a man...what...?