Wednesday, October 11, 2006

They Come Out So You Don't Have To

In honor of National Coming Out Day, we at The Boob Tubers encourage our GLBT visitors to find the courage they need to fly their rainbow flags high... through, of course, the magic of television. Without further ado, my favorite TV queers:

1. Willow & Tara on Buffy the Vampire Slayer
These two were the first lesbian couple to appear on primetime TV. What a difference a few years makes. Willow's metamorphosis from a cutesy, stammering nerd larvae into a big, beautiful, Wiccan lesbian butterfly was one for the ages. The singular Buffy writers made her sexual awakening believable and relatable (except for the being able to float part). And Tara was her sweetie who, despite being a fairly minor character, got a show-stopping number in the Buffy musical, Once More With Feeling. You make me come...plete indeed.

2. Jodie Dallas on Soap
Frankly, I know very little about this character, as I was but a twinkle in my mama's eye when this show aired. But Billy Crystal grew up one town over from me (Strong Island WHAT!) and he played this dude, the first openly gay regular character on an American series.

3. The Fab Five on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy
They're a little past their prime, but they shaped Bravo into the delightfully flamey network it is today. Tim Gunn, you betta recognize!

4. David & Keith on Six Feet Under
That crazy HBO. It wasn't enough for them to have a gay couple, they had to be a gay interracial couple as well! What's next, elaborate fantasy sequences involving the Corpse of the Week and some kind of musical number? I keed, I keed. David and Keith stand out because they were given as much screen time and drama as any other couple on Six Feet Under. They were alternately wretched and adorable, but by the series finale I was convinced they were meant for each other. Granted, whenever I watched the show with my dad he carried on so much you'd think the sight of two men kissing was burning the eyeballs right out of his head. So the social value here is negligible, if my dad is your sample population.

5. Shane on The L Word
This show is pretty much terrible and preposterous, but Katherine Moennig as Shane is the sexiest dirtbag to ever grace television. I want to both wash her hair and make out with her.

6. Rickie Vasquez on My So-Called Life
Rickie is the gay best friend every girl wants to have. He did his makeup with BFFs Rayanne and Angela in the girl's bathroom and secretly, sadly was infatuated with Jordan Catalano. (Who WASN'T?!?) I recently heard a crazy story: actor Wilson Cruz was kicked out of his home for being gay while filming. When his father saw the ironically parallel episode in which Rickie also ends up on the streets, he invited Wilson back home and they reconciled. See, TV does heal all wounds.

7. Mr./Ms. Garrison on South Park
Well, I just made a mockery of this whole list, didn't I?


Jeanette said...

Excellent list Salami, but Jody was actually my favorite gay tv character. Way to steal my "I watched a crazy amount of shows that were over my head in my youth" thunder.

Alanna said...

Is this kind of like how "The Acid Queen" was your favorite song off Tommy when you were like, 6?

Jeanette said...

Actually, the same exact kind of thing. It wasn't until I saw the stage production at age ten that I was like...whaaaaat's happening?!?!

I meant my comment to be more territorial, though. Jody wasn't you're favorite. He IS MINE! (to be said like Jim Broadbendt in Moulin Rouge, which is, oddly enough, also my favorite)

Eric Jost said...

What about the L Word is preposterous?! I totally believe that a group of sexy, femme lesbians in LA all sleep together with sexy consequences which turn their lives into a sexy series of messes. It's just like my own life.

Hey Pretty said...

Total girl crush on the L word chick. Although I self-identify as straight, I'd totally do her.

Alanna said...

She's one of those people who kind of defies orientation. I have a few straight guy friends who are like that about Jude Law, actually. Probably because he's pretty like a woman.