Thursday, July 13, 2006

Langlieb on Sex and the City

I've been invited by the gracious ladies of Boob Tubers to file an occasional guest post about Sex and the City. As I understand it, this is a privilege only reserved for cast members of Sex and the City and people dating one or more of the Boob Tubers. I happen to fall into both categories (see Episode 74: I Love a Charade, during the wedding scene where I can be seen sneaking buffet shrimp into a burlap sack.)

The question must asked: Why blog about Sex and the City at all? It's been off the air for three years and exists only in rerun de-smuttified form on TBS and in the DVD closets of pubescent girls. Much ink has already been spilled on its societal implications...the religious right has demonized Carrie as the archetypal 21st century American hedonist, radical feminists have criticized her level of dependence on men, and television critics the world over have debated which of Kim Cattrall's two facial expressions is less repellent.

So what do I bring to the subject? One thing: I'm a heterosexual male. As of yet, no heterosexual male has written about Sex and the City. This is because only three heterosexual men have seen Sex and the City: Pat Robertson, me, and the Pope one night when he stumbled upon it accidently while flipping around for Veronica's Closet.

Also...somehow or other several of my life's most poignant moments have involved Sex and the City. I'll be discussing these moments in my blog entries. One night in Las Vegas I was watching Episode 83: A Woman's Right to Shoes with my once and current girlfriend when an army of ants invaded the kitchen of the long-term motel where we were housed. My once and current girlfriend screamed when she saw them, and then proceeded to not help at all as I ran to the maitenance building, procured some poison, and sprayed the whole place until it was ant-free. I would not see the entirety of that episode for years to come. She would go on to date other people until she came crawling back, not unlike the ants she didn't help kill.

That last part isn't true, but wouldn't life have come full circle if it was?

4 comments:

Jeanette said...

Blow me.

Alanna said...

Hint: I am not Langlieb's girlfriend.

Anonymous said...

langlieb, i just peed myself a little.

Alanna said...

Jessica, the best part of online dating is all the free dinners, no?