Showing posts with label tmi. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tmi. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

TV Gets Gypped, WWHBOD?

Howdy howdy howdy! It's been a while, as I've been wandering the countryside much in the style of a Gypsy. Which is such a coincidence, because the first half of my post today is about Gypsies, or rather, the recent spike in Gypsy representation on television.

Full disclosure: I have some Gypsy in me. My great-great grandmother was all about Bohemia back when it was an actual place rather than something from a Rent song.

OK, OK, time to make a disclaimer before the Gypsy population of West Bushwick or wherever decides to flood this blog with complaints. (Edited to add disclaimer: Nothing in this blog is serious, except for the fact that shows about Gypsies exist. Oh, also the paragraph about mythologizing.) It's just weird because I've noticed a lot more Gypsies on TV than there used to be. Oh, and they prefer to be called Roma (because they roam-a around a lot! hahahaha!)

First was on House, in which a young Gypsy boy falls mysteriously, yet predictably ill, and his relatives stupidly, yet predictably fight House on his treatment. The boy's family are funkily dressed, vaguely ethnic weirdos who seem to have missed the boat on modern medicine despite living in suburban New Jersey. The father chews on toothpicks like a shady used car salesman and they all hate the boy's honky girlfriend. In fact, they refer to all honkies by a word I forgot - let's say it's Groosalug - that probably means "The Less Swarthy Ones Who Shall Not Be Named."

Now, on FX's new series The Riches, Eddie Izzard plays the patriarch of a Gypsy family that moves into some dead people's mansion and pretends its theirs. First of all, who knew there were so many Gypsies in the United States? I thought they were all flirting with Juliette Binoche in quaint French towns. Second, wouldn't a sweet manse like that go on the market right away, outting the squatters before they could say "American Dream"? Third, are Gypsies the new Little People? That is, a widely mythologized and misunderstood group of people for us normals to become fascinated with? If so, feel free to feature me in your new series, "Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves," FOX Reality!




Another question on my mind lately is WWHBOD, that is, What Will HBO Do? In just a few months everyone's favorite curse-words-and-graphic-sex channel will be out of decent programs. They've axed Deadwood, Rome will end once Octavian becomes Emperor in two weeks, and The Sopranos - which has nose dived in quality anyway - will air its final nine episodes in May. After that, HBO doesn't have a leg to stand on, unless you consider Entourage a leg. (Which I don't. It's a trifle.) Deadwood's David Milch is currently developing a series called John from Cincinatti, which he describes as a "surf noir," and I describe as a "How? What? How?" I don't know, guys. Will the ol' Home Box Office get overpowered by Showtime or HBO Lite, as I like to call FX?

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Jeanette's Case of the Mondays, 2/26/07

Yo, honestly, being sick at work is a VIRTUAL INSANITY (to steal the phrase from my favorite Idol conestant, Blake Lewis, currently doing an excellent cover). That is why now that it is after hours, with me functioning on LA time and everyone else in this building home, snuggling, I am in PAJAMA PANTS! (To be said in the same fashion as Tyra Banks screaming PANTY PARTY loud enough that it can be heard over the sound of voices in her head.)

One more American Idol thought for the night...Doesn't Simon remind you of that kid in your second grade class that, for some reason, thought he ran the show, even though the best comeback he ever had was something like, "A DUH?"

Now on to Heroes, or as Alanna and I call it, Multi-tasking-oes, since we have determined that the show deserves about 70% of our actual attention, leaving plenty of time to surf the net (Alanna) or trim toenails (me).

Last night, getting a good, long look at Matthew John Armstrong playing Ted Sprague aka Radioactive Man, it was easier to almost confirm the rumors; Armstrong is one of the notorious Geico cavemen. Question is, will Tim Kring allow him to self explode in time to reprise the role in the ABC pilot to be based on the ad campaign? Here's hoping, because that sounds like RATINGS GOLD!

After Heroes, it was time for a daily dose of "I'm better than everyone, even Nelson Mandella" as we tuned in for Oprahs Building a Dream: The Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy. I have recently grown disheartened with the old gal, particularly because of her somewhat, holier than thou attitude during her road trip across America. This wasn't really remedied as I watched her walk across a stage in front of several hundred needy girls wearing RIDICULOUSLY ORNATE AND TALL ESPADRILLES. Nor was I won over in the way that Oprah has managed to recently be down on American students in the press when justifying her school's location in South Africa. Nor did it help when Oprah brought us back to the sight of her childhood home, where her grandmother attempted to teach her how to do laundry to prepare for the future, to which Oprah informed her grandmother that she'd never have to do that for herself. I mean, sure I was tearing up at the tales of young girls living in shacks in South Africa plagued with poverty and violence, but that dindn't stop me from picturing like...a target on the back of Oprah's stylish yet casual velour sweatsuit.

NOW IT IS TIME TO NOT WATCH ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A FIFTH GRADER!

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Best of the Boob Tubers

My favorite moments from our storied past six months:

*When Walnuts attacks.

*Manohla Dargis is insane, loves Reno 911.

*A pre-scandal David Langlieb weighs in on which Sex and the City gal John Bolton is.

*A hottie round-up that for once isn't filled with blond film actresses.

*Boy, that Lonelygirl15 craze sure burned out quickly.

*We're still waiting for the Polack mob to come after us. What's wrong, you guys are too dense to find us?

*Jeanette tries to have sex with Christmas...

*...and gets some face time with foreigners instead.

And that was our teletastic year. Standby for our favorite TV moments of 06, likely not to be published until 07 because of intoxication, laziness.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

64th Golden Globes Nominations Announced

Find all the television-centric nods here, with the occasional incisive commentary in italics. Apologies for all the caps, I pretty much copied and pasted this from here, where you can also find the film nominees.

BEST TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA

24 (FOX)

BIG LOVE (HBO)

GREY’S ANATOMY (ABC)

HEROES (NBC)

LOST (ABC)


BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA

PATRICIA ARQUETTE - MEDIUM

EDIE FALCO - THE SOPRANOS

EVANGELINE LILLY - LOST
Really? I love the show and even I can admit the woman has two facial expressions.

ELLEN POMPEO - GREY’S ANATOMY
Poor man's Renée "Lemon Face" Zellweger.

KYRA SEDGWICK - THE CLOSER


BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA

PATRICK DEMPSEY - GREY’S ANATOMY

MICHAEL C. HALL - DEXTER

HUGH LAURIE - HOUSE
Especially since he can do teenage girl as well as middle-aged man.

BILL PAXTON - BIG LOVE

KIEFER SUTHERLAND - 24
Again? He doesn't really act, so much as yell "Damn it!" into his cell phone repeatedly.


BEST TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY OR MUSICAL

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES (ABC)

ENTOURAGE (HBO)

OFFICE (NBC)

UGLY BETTY (ABC)

WEEDS (SHOWTIME)


BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES –COMEDY OR MUSICAL
I don't watch any of this sh*t.

MARCIA CROSS - DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES

AMERICA FERRERA - UGLY BETTY

FELICITY HUFFMAN - DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES

JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS - THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE

MARY-LOUISE PARKER - WEEDS


BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY OR MUSICAL

ALEC BALDWIN - 30 ROCK

ZACH BRAFF - SCRUBS
I keep hearing that Zach Braff is the "voice of my generation," though really I feel more in tune with the much older and funnier Jew, Larry David. Does that make me weird?

STEVE CARRELL - THE OFFICE

JASON LEE - MY NAME IS EARL

TONY SHALHOUB - MONK


BEST MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION

BLEAK HOUSE (PBS)

BROKEN TRAIL (AMC)

ELIZABETH I (HBO)

MRS. HARRIS (HBO)

PRIME SUSPECT: THE FINAL ACT (PBS)



BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION

GILLIAN ANDERSON - BLEAK HOUSE

ANNETTE BENING - MRS. HARRIS

HELEN MIRREN - ELIZABETH I
What?!? Someone needs to schedule an intervention and send her to Monarchs Anonymous. OK, that was lame.

HELEN MIRREN - PRIME SUSPECT: THE FINAL ACT

SOPHIE OKONEDO - TSUNAMI, THE AFTERMATH


BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION

ANDRÉ BRAUGHER - THIEF

ROBERT DUVALL - BROKEN TRAIL

MICHAEL EALY - SLEEPER CELL: AMERICAN TERROR

CHIWETEL EJIOFOR - TSUNAMI, THE AFTERMATH

BEN KINGSLEY - MRS. HARRIS

BILL NIGHY - GIDEON’S DAUGHTER
I've never even heard of this, but I'm sure he was better than...

MATTHEW PERRY - THE RON CLARK STORY
Yeah, him.


BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION

EMILY BLUNT - GIDEON’S DAUGHTER

TONI COLLETTE - TSUNAMI, THE AFTERMATH

KATHERINE HEIGL - GREY’S ANATOMY

SARAH PAULSON - STUDIO 60 ON THE SUNSET STRIP
It's sad to watch her suck the last scrap of life out of this show, because she was so fantastic on Deadwood. Also, dating Cherry Jones. That's cool.

ELIZABETH PERKINS - WEEDS


BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION

THOMAS HADEN CHURCH - BROKEN TRAIL

JEREMY IRONS - ELIZABETH I

JUSTIN KIRK - WEEDS

MASI OKA - HEROES
Team Sambo!!!

JEREMY PIVEN - ENTOURAGE