A Top Chef/Heroes Crossover?

Tom Colicchio is a hero! According to E! Online:

While most celebs were spending the days leading to the inauguration partying around Washington, D.C., Top Chef chieftain Tom Colicchio was busy saving lives.

The reality-show judge and all-star restaurateur came to the rescue of a fellow foodie Monday night at the Art. Food. Hope benefit. The event, which featured attendees like Bob Woodward, Carl Bernstein and Rachel Maddow, was hosted by cookbook author Joan Nathan (The New American Cooking).

As originally reported on the Internet Food Association blog, Colicchio was cornered by Top Chef fans peeved by last week's elimination, when another famed chef, Alice Waters, frantically began calling for help. Nathan was choking on a piece of chicken.

And that's when Colicchio sprang into action.

He deftly performed the Heimlich maneuver, dispatching the chicken and saving Nathan.

It's so awesome to see that with all the crazy, medical technology we have today (anyone hear if Obama has done anything about stem cells yet?) that the Heimlich, which sounds like something convicted to death at Nuremberg, is still relevant. One time, a chef from the Dublin restaurant Gallagher's Boxty House saved my little sister's life with the Heimlich. We feld kind of bad since his food really sucked.

Tune in tonight to congratulate the hero and watch TOP CHEF on Bravo. Perhaps more importantly, tune in to send Carla good vibes. Ariane was kicked off last week, so apparently it's time to get rid of the nice, older ladies. Carla is the main reason I watch, ever since Vivian pointed out weeks ago that she bears a striking resemblance in appearance and demeanor to Myrtle Urkel, Steve Urkel's cousin played by the incomparable Jaleel White in Drag. See for yourself...



Hoody!

I wonder if Alanna will finish jizzing in her pants in time to give everyone a LOST recap tomorrow. My money is on red...what?

Can you believe...

Two can you believe its for today.

1) Can you believe it is TOP CHEF/food porn time again, as the show's fifth season premieres on Bravo tonight? I hope the first challenge tonight is to take spaghetti with tomato sauce, shrimp cocktail, stuffing (as in Turkey/Thanksgiving stuffing), guacomole, and baked potatoes and make something out of them. Those are my favorite foods so I am sure it would be delicious.

Another good thing about Top Chef beginning is maybe a waning down of the NYC transit advertisements for the show featuring an openly hostile statue of liberty wielding a knife. It seriously looks like some of Vigo's primordial ooze from below the city streets in GHOSTBUSTERS II got all up in her grill. Google fails me in finding a viable photo of it, but trust me, not good news.



2) Old news, but can you believe TWO AND A HALF MEN is the number one comedy on television? Honestly, it makes me question my place on this planet to know that what I consider to be, hands down, one of the worst shows on television gets an 8.9/13 rating?!?! On top of plain sucking, now the show is just getting awkward as that little shit on it grows up. Now its more like TWO 80s HAS BEENS/WALKING ZOMBIES DO TRICKS FOR PAYCHECKS AND 80% OF A MAN. That was a mouthful, but you get me.

Check Please- TOP CHEF Finally Ends

There was no HUNG jury at judge's table last night! No need for Hung's head to be HUNG in shame! Hung won.

Aside from ending the longest reality show run in history, last night's TOP CHEF was very educational.

I learned that while Padma Lackshmi remains the hottest female specimen ever, she should stay away from live television. Bravo's got a dramatic eye in the editing room, and on the pre-recorded shows, Padma has always come off as suave and just an appropriate few notches below bitchy (they left the bitchy edits for Gail Simmons. Whew, someone has a horned cucumber up her butt). Last night, though, when Padma wasn't tripping over words, she spoke to the camera with the same juvenile inflections as Captain Kangaroo or something. I thought she was going to pull out a fake mirror and say she saw me, and Jimmy and Nancy or some shit...

I learned that women really can't be chefs! After giving little girls everywhere glimmers of hope, Casey really effed up in the final elimination challenge. Come on girl! You should have shown those dudes what you were made of! Displayed your womanly talents! Diced some garlic using kegal stretches or something. Man...

And finally, I learned that Marcel from season 2 and Hung must have met in Top Chef Assholes Anonymous and fallen deeply in love. All night, when the camera cut to Marcel, you saw this deep look in his eyes...like if things didn't go his way, he was going to press the button in his shoe causing this homemade explosive of baking soda and salmon flavored foam to go off. Then when Hung was announced as Top Chef, no joke, Marcel ran up to him SO FAST and was the FIRST ONE to embrace him. There were even points where Hung's mother was standing behind him like chopped lychee while Hung and Marcel embraced. Wasn't Hung allegedly doing all this for his mom? Maybe not because last week he said something about sleeping in the kitchen while he grew up...mom must be a hardass.

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ANNNND my love affair with Kid Nation continues. As the show goes on, more kids are getting more face time, allowing me to find the town Jew. I KNEW there had to be one somewhere. His name is Eric, and I am sure he will be a usurer or something in no time.