Oh Dad! The Rogue!: Heroes, House and Kid Nation

We're not even fully into network television's premiere week yet, but here are some random thoughts...

Creative product placement is all the rage in the TV biz these days, what with the Internets taking over buyers' attention spans (way to generalize, Jeanette). Here are some gross offenders I have noticed over the past week...

Claire was SO THRILLED when Horn Rimmed Glasses gave her a car on the season preem of HEROES this past Monday. "Oh, Dad! The Rogue," she exclaimed, standing next to the black Nissan (R). Yes, every teenager's dream...a Nissan Rogue. I can't wait til these start appearing during the grand finales of MY SUPER SWEET SIXTEEN, right after Kanye West pops out of a cake and some marching band geeks are kicked out of the party. Catch this oh so genuine moment when the show is encored this Saturday, and catch the flack NBC is getting for combining the Nielsen ratings of both airings to inflate their success...

Dr. Gregory House munched on some CheezIts (R) during his latest illegal patient break in. Damn, that's it? CheezIts? If I knew Hugh Laurie was going to break into my house, I would have a platter of ME waiting, with a side of ME. And for dessert...ME. And then I would ask how he likes his eggs in the morning, and then make him a ME omlette.

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In guilty pleasure news, I do believe I will remain a steady viewer of CBS' controversial KID NATION. This has a lot to do with Jared, a precocious 11 year old from Georgia. Kid is like a walking Bartlett’s! He has been known to spew such gems as, "I'm hungry, and as Martin Luther King Jr. said, I have a dream!" When debating whether or not to sacrifice chickens for the sake of protein, Jared had this to offer: "As William Shakespeare said, To kill or not to kill, that is the question."

When not hoping for Jared to enlighten me, I watch KID NATION to hear Laurel's accent. She must be the baby that Matt Damon's girlfriend was pregnant with in THE DEPARTED, because every time she speaks, it sounds like Boston is throwing up!

If you aren't in love with Jared and Laurel already, be sure to click the links to check out their profiles on CBS' website. Their most admired world leaders are George W. Bush and Jesus Christ respectively. THAT SHOULD SEAL THE DEAL FOR YOU!

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What are your thoughts on the season so far, and more importantly, will Alanna ever post again?

Jeanette's Case of the Mondays, 2/26/07

Yo, honestly, being sick at work is a VIRTUAL INSANITY (to steal the phrase from my favorite Idol conestant, Blake Lewis, currently doing an excellent cover). That is why now that it is after hours, with me functioning on LA time and everyone else in this building home, snuggling, I am in PAJAMA PANTS! (To be said in the same fashion as Tyra Banks screaming PANTY PARTY loud enough that it can be heard over the sound of voices in her head.)

One more American Idol thought for the night...Doesn't Simon remind you of that kid in your second grade class that, for some reason, thought he ran the show, even though the best comeback he ever had was something like, "A DUH?"

Now on to Heroes, or as Alanna and I call it, Multi-tasking-oes, since we have determined that the show deserves about 70% of our actual attention, leaving plenty of time to surf the net (Alanna) or trim toenails (me).

Last night, getting a good, long look at Matthew John Armstrong playing Ted Sprague aka Radioactive Man, it was easier to almost confirm the rumors; Armstrong is one of the notorious Geico cavemen. Question is, will Tim Kring allow him to self explode in time to reprise the role in the ABC pilot to be based on the ad campaign? Here's hoping, because that sounds like RATINGS GOLD!

After Heroes, it was time for a daily dose of "I'm better than everyone, even Nelson Mandella" as we tuned in for Oprahs Building a Dream: The Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy. I have recently grown disheartened with the old gal, particularly because of her somewhat, holier than thou attitude during her road trip across America. This wasn't really remedied as I watched her walk across a stage in front of several hundred needy girls wearing RIDICULOUSLY ORNATE AND TALL ESPADRILLES. Nor was I won over in the way that Oprah has managed to recently be down on American students in the press when justifying her school's location in South Africa. Nor did it help when Oprah brought us back to the sight of her childhood home, where her grandmother attempted to teach her how to do laundry to prepare for the future, to which Oprah informed her grandmother that she'd never have to do that for herself. I mean, sure I was tearing up at the tales of young girls living in shacks in South Africa plagued with poverty and violence, but that dindn't stop me from picturing like...a target on the back of Oprah's stylish yet casual velour sweatsuit.

NOW IT IS TIME TO NOT WATCH ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A FIFTH GRADER!