Oh Noes!!

I was just watching CNN and President Bush was giving a speech in the Rose Garden about HOW EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE OK which totally reminded me of how right after Columbine, my high school principal gave a "Please don't shoot up the school" speech at an assembly, insisting that there were alternatives, etc etc. Like why don't you try being a 16-year-old on this Hellmouth, Mr. Resnick. But ANYWAY Bush mentioned that the paper markets are frozen and all I could think was, "What does this mean for Dunder Mifflin?"



If they were to downsize, which Dunder Mifflin employee do you think would get the first pink slip?

The Office Season Premiere, 9/25/08

It was GREAT to see the whole gang from The Office back in excellent form. And I mean the WHOLE gang. You may remember that at the end of last season, Ryan was taken away in handcuffs and Toby said farewell to Dunder Mifflin for Costa Rica. Well, a supposedly repentant Ryan returned to a Scranton temp agency just in time to fill in for Pam at the reception desk, and Toby was in a horrific zip lining accident and is currently holed up in a Costa Rica Hospital. YAY!

Toby is, hands down, my favorite character on The Office. Which works out well because Paul Lieberstein, who plays Toby, is hands down my favorite writer for The Office. One of the strongest episodes of anything ever continues to be last season's Money, of course written by Paul. "America, irrigation and night time..."

It's hard to write anything of substance since this season premiere has filled me with childlike glee. So I guess I will just ask you to please tell me who your favorite Office character and/or writer and/or writer/performer is, and why.

Oh, and as far as plot goes, Jim and Pam got engaged.

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And in The Office: Original Recipe news, there is buzz surrounding Ricky Gervais being the next Oscar host, based on the fact that he managed to be the only sincere presenter at last week's Emmys. I say excellent idea. His nonchalance would hopefully give an organic feel to the ceremony, which not even Jon Stewart has managed to do in his two stints.

What you are doing this weekend

You are watching the season premiere of Saturday Night Live on NBC. Michael "Butthisface" Phelps promises to be about as charismatic as any athlete that's ever hosted the show, but it's the season opener in what should be a very exciting few months leading up to the election. Elusive Lorne Michaels won't confirm or deny Tina Fey's return to play Sarah "Bulldog" Palin (Interesting note: Bulldogs are incapable of grooming their own assholes. Frequently, owners find themselves wiping the area on their own. Are we ready ready for a President AND Vice President that can't wipe their own asses? No.). Also stay tuned this season to see if Michaels is successful in his begging of Maya Rudolph to come back and play Michelle Obama.

Newest featured player Bobby Moynihan (pictured left) will also be making his debut. Another writer/performer to come from the Upright Citizen's Brigade theater, complete with an "I don't give a crap" gut and scruffy hair, my pal Kara is most likely correct in her assessment that he will play a role similar to Horatio Sanz. Keep your eyes open for a yet to be named, female featured player to take Amy Poehler's place when she leaves to pop out the world's funniest baby and star on The Office spinoff in November.

You are also routing for my pal Jennifer McNamara Shroff to win the Emmy this weekend for her brilliant job casting 30 Rock. Her nabbing of Dean Winters alone is enough to secure the statue. Check Sunday to see how she did along with everyone else nominated for this years Creative Arts Emmys.

And you are getting shitfaced drunk. No wait, that's me.