Wednesday, October 10, 2007


My boyfriend told me yesterday that at times, I can be quite "fierce." (Yes, I have a boyfriend now, which may explain my long hiatus from this blog. That's right. I've been having sex non-stop for the past THREE MONTHS. Boy, am I tired.) What he said made me think of how often that word is thrown around on America's Next Top Model, (pronounced "fee-yarce") and how it doesn't seem to mean anything, really.

It's no surprise that Tyra Banks doesn't understand English, considering that she recently pronounced Asperger's Ahs-pur-jers and that when she had the opportunity to interview Barack Obama, she asked him if she and her mother could have a sleepover party in the Lincoln bedroom. I don't know why this woman is allowed to have multiple TV shows. The only useful thing she has ever done for my life was to give me a shade upon which to base my ultimate cup of coffee. ("Milk and sugar?" "Yeah, make it about Tyra color.")

The model wannabes are increasingly despicable as well, now mocking the disabled and each other's thigh fat (which: what fat??). The only two likeable girls are Heather, who has Asperger's (which: if that means not being able to relate to the other contestants, then I also have Asperger's) and Victoria, the awkward nerdy Yale student. I will watch tonight's episode because it's the makeover one, which is always my favorite, because it leaves me feeling immensely self-satisfied after I correctly predict who will cry at their new haircut.

House, meanwhile, was EXCELLENT last night, inducing Jeanette and I to cry over the clearly manipulative final dog scene. This season's format of auditioning new fellows, Survivor-style, is doing it for me, despite the fact that there's no suspense that Kal Penn's character will be hired. It's also looking like Foreman will return. He has never helped me with my coffee, but he is my favorite second banana character and there's a definite gap in the show without him.

Spoilery nitpick: no way would that dog have eaten the pills off the floor. Having cared for that man for so long, it certainly would have been trained to avoid spilled medication.

Also, as much as I love my cat, dogs > cats.


Jeanette said...

This is not your hello kitty diary with a keropi lock, Alanna. Keep it TVVVVVVV.

J.J. said...

I, on the other hand, would like more sex details.

Jeanette said...

I don't drag you down into the mud by asking you to write retrospectives on Pauly Shore's career, J.J. I would expect the same respect from you. We keep it classy here.