Anna Nicole Smith Still Dead

So it's only been about three hours since we lost her, but already the academic observation has been made numerous times that Anna Nicole is the Marilyn Monroe of our generation. I want to do my part and take a load off of Elton John as he prepares for the tribute he is to perform at the state funeral, so you heard it here first: Anna Nicole's very own alternate lyrics to CANDLE IN THE WIND...

Goodbye Anna Nicole
Though I never knew you at all
You had the grace to wear hot pink spandex
Even when you were the size of a mall
You wrote the book on golddigging
And the encyclopedia on train wreck TV
You were pretty much the only billionaire
That nobody else wanted to be

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a fart lit on fire
Never knowing where to draw the line
With the rat faced lawyer you hired
And I would have liked to tell you
If only Britney had made sure you'd known
That farts fueled by taco bell
Burn longer than with methadone