Wednesday, January 17, 2007

24 Mad Libs

Hello readers! I've developed an interactive game around a sample of dialogue from the thrilling premiere of the sixth season of 24.* Surely you all remember Mad Libs, the wacky word game your parents threw at you when you were annoying them on long car rides. Well, I've discovered that this childhood activity perfectly aligns with 24's dialogue. See below for the word blanks, and some suggestions from me on how to fill them in!


SCENE: Jack is in pursuit of a terrorist who is driving on a freeway with a nuclear weapon in his trunk. Accompanying him on this mission is a former bad guy looking to atone. Jack is on his cell, Blackberry, GPS, walkie-talkie, and carrier pigeon with the folks back at CTU.

JACK: Chloe!

CHLOE: Hello, lover.

JACK: THERE'S NO TIME FOR THAT! I'm pursuing a (terrorist group) agent and I need your help.

CHLOE: OK, I'm setting up the (tracking device) now. How did you find him?

JACK: I'm working with (foreign name).

CHLOE: You're working with (foreign name)?!? But he's a known (unsavory career title)!

JACK: Well, he's trying to make amends.

CHLOE: But he's killed hundreds of people!

JACK: Chloe, you have to trust me on this one. If you don't, (dire situation) could happen!

CHLOE: OK lov- I mean Jack. I trust you.


SUGGESTIONS:
(terrorist group)
a) Al-Qaeda
b) ETA
c) Chechen Rebels
d) Williamsburg residents

(tracking device)
a) satellite navigation
b) beeping thing
c) TomTom
d) locator spell

(foreign name)
a) Hassad
b) Ammad
c) Riyad
d) Joe

(unsavory career title)
a) assassin
b) adult film star
c) back-up singer
d) editorial assistant

(dire situation)
a) nuclear war
b) the Apocalypse
c) global warming
d) a Kiss reunion tour

Post your 24 Mad Libs in the comments!


*with thanks to Idolator's Hold Steady Mad Libs

3 comments:

Aaron Riccio said...

I've slightly recast this as an episode of 24/7. The episode's name, by the way, is 6:00p.m. to 7:00p.m. (Brilliant title, no?)

SCENE: Jack is in pursuit of a terrorist who is driving on a freeway with a nuclear weapon in his trunk. Accompanying him on this mission is a former badguy looking to atone. Jack is on his iWalkie, tracking on his GPS, and playing Tetris while listening to a mash-up of Le Tiger and Missy Elliot (all on his iWalkie).

JACK: Chloe!

CHLOE: Hello, lover.

JACK: THERE'S NO TIME FOR THAT! I'm pursuing a militant Christian fundamentalist and I need your help.

CHLOE: OK, I'm setting up SkyNet now. How did you find him?

JACK: I'm working with Velvet Carpetbagger.

CHLOE: You're working with crazy Carpetbagger?!? But she's a known blue-blooded blue-baller!

JACK: Well, she's trying to make amends. (Sotto voce) Oooh, that's good.

CHLOE: But she's killed hundreds of people!

JACK: Chloe, you have to trust me on this one. If you don't, a serious molten ejac...I mean, eruption could happen! She's going to blow!

CHLOE: OK lov- I mean Jack. I trust you.

JACK: (Hanging up) Yeah, whatever. (Looking down) Faster! Do I look like I've got time?

[beep boop]
[beep boop]
[beep boop]

[F.O. to commercial]

Christopher said...

The following occurs between 4:13 am and 4:36 am.

SCENE: Jack is in pursuit of a terrorist who is driving on a freeway with a nuclear weapon in his trunk. Accompanying him on this mission is a former badguy looking to atone. Jack is on his cell, surfing porn on his dashboard mounted laptop, tracking on his GPS, and sending secret smoke signals to CTU through the tailpipe.

His companion is assembling a gamma disrupter to scramble the nuke's detonators using nothing but a bic pen, a flashlight, two rubber bands, sixteen paper clips, a used rubber, four sticks of juicy fruit, an aluminum "to go" container, cat poop and twelve magnets.

JACK: Chloe!

CHLOE: Hello, lover.

JACK: THERE'S NO TIME FOR THAT!

CLOE: THERE'S ALWAYS TIME FOR THAT!

JACK: I'm pursuing Rupert Murdock and Roger Ailes and I need your help.

CHLOE: OK, I'm setting up SkyNet now. Wait, Rupert Murdock?

JACK: Yes.

CHLOE: And the President of Fox News and President Bush's cousin, Roger Ailes? How did you find them?

JACK: I'm working with McGuyver.

CHLOE: You're working with McGuyver?!? But he's a fictional character on TV... oh... Sorry. um...

JACK: Well, he's trying to make amends.

CHLOE: But he's killed hundreds of people... on TV... Oh... I see your point.

JACK: Chloe, you have to trust me on this one. If you don't, the worst thing imaginable could happen! We could go from a first rate television phenominon to a propoganda tool of a corrupt government.

CHLOE: Like how, Lov?

JACK: Rupert wants to keep the populace scared and stupid. by detonating that nuclear device on television, it becomes a GOP talking point and people like Rush Limbaugh can say hateful things like, "Muslims want to kill us with a nuclear device, just like it happened on 24."

CHLOE: He wouldn't do that!

JACK: How do you know?

CHLOE: Because I know Rush... Very well.

JACK: Lover, are you telling me the tabloids are true?

CHLOE: Yes... I have been Rush Limbaugh's lover.

JACK: NO!

CHLOE: Yes, Jack. I'm a whore to a Right Wing hack. And you are my monkey. Now, dance little monkey... Let Murdock go...

JACK: Never! Please, don't do this.

CHLOE: Lover, there is nothing you can say.

JACK: Oh yeah? YOU'RE A BAD ACTRESS!

CHLOE: NO!

JACK: YOU ARE A BAD ACTRESS! THE WORST ON TV! Tell her McGuyver.

MCGUYVER: He's right Chloe. You are the worst actress on TV and if you weren't dating Rush Limbaugh, Murdock and his right wing cronies would have fired you two seasons ago.

CHLOE: No! I lov- I mean I need you to believe in my talent, Jack!

JACK: Yeah, whatever, you hack. (Hanging up) McGuyver... that thing better work, or those smug ass holes will be at it again... and we'll be fighting in Iran next.


[beep boop]
[beep boop]
[beep boop]

[F.O. to commercial]

Alanna said...

Guys, this was awesome. Thanks for playing!