Oh Dad! The Rogue!: Heroes, House and Kid Nation

We're not even fully into network television's premiere week yet, but here are some random thoughts...

Creative product placement is all the rage in the TV biz these days, what with the Internets taking over buyers' attention spans (way to generalize, Jeanette). Here are some gross offenders I have noticed over the past week...

Claire was SO THRILLED when Horn Rimmed Glasses gave her a car on the season preem of HEROES this past Monday. "Oh, Dad! The Rogue," she exclaimed, standing next to the black Nissan (R). Yes, every teenager's dream...a Nissan Rogue. I can't wait til these start appearing during the grand finales of MY SUPER SWEET SIXTEEN, right after Kanye West pops out of a cake and some marching band geeks are kicked out of the party. Catch this oh so genuine moment when the show is encored this Saturday, and catch the flack NBC is getting for combining the Nielsen ratings of both airings to inflate their success...

Dr. Gregory House munched on some CheezIts (R) during his latest illegal patient break in. Damn, that's it? CheezIts? If I knew Hugh Laurie was going to break into my house, I would have a platter of ME waiting, with a side of ME. And for dessert...ME. And then I would ask how he likes his eggs in the morning, and then make him a ME omlette.

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In guilty pleasure news, I do believe I will remain a steady viewer of CBS' controversial KID NATION. This has a lot to do with Jared, a precocious 11 year old from Georgia. Kid is like a walking Bartlett’s! He has been known to spew such gems as, "I'm hungry, and as Martin Luther King Jr. said, I have a dream!" When debating whether or not to sacrifice chickens for the sake of protein, Jared had this to offer: "As William Shakespeare said, To kill or not to kill, that is the question."

When not hoping for Jared to enlighten me, I watch KID NATION to hear Laurel's accent. She must be the baby that Matt Damon's girlfriend was pregnant with in THE DEPARTED, because every time she speaks, it sounds like Boston is throwing up!

If you aren't in love with Jared and Laurel already, be sure to click the links to check out their profiles on CBS' website. Their most admired world leaders are George W. Bush and Jesus Christ respectively. THAT SHOULD SEAL THE DEAL FOR YOU!

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What are your thoughts on the season so far, and more importantly, will Alanna ever post again?

Oprah is a simpleton

Girl's got to have some smarts. I mean, she heads a multi billion dollar empire, has Emmys and an Oscar, and apparently makes the curriculum for all of South Africa.

But...today's Oprah is currently airing in the tri state area. For the first half of the show, Oprah interviewed intersex (aka the artists formerly known as hermaphrodites) people. Let's discuss her faux pas.

One, she high fived one of the first guests because it turned out she had a functioning and recognizable va-jayjay. And that is the word she used. Va-jayjay. I'll see you on the soup, insensitive Oprah clip mentioning va-jayjay.

Two, she goes to one of the other guests, "Are you gay?" Nice lead in, Oprah. You have the journalistic integrity and skill of a questioner during the Spanish Inquisition.

And then, after all that, Oprah had the energy to get on her high horse and ask a "question" to her medical expert that was something along the lines of, isn't it better to just accept people as they are instead of insisting they change? Of course, she got enthusiastic applause. But what was the medical expert going to say to that? No? Only if it turns out that the medical expert was Dr. Mengle in disguise.

Rosie, homegirl, thank goodness you didn't go anywhere near that show.

Stay tuned for riveting thoughts on the new television season, including the female reincarnation of JFK running the show on CBS' KID NATION!